Friday, February 20, 2015

My Little Flower Girl ~ A Birth Story

This is the birth story of my second child , my beautiful daughter Jasmine Milan .
A gift to her for her 29th birthday .
She is now a beautiful young mother herself .
I'm copying the story from the Compleat Mother
My Little Flower Girl
I was a single parent when Natasha was born . Three years later, I met Bob and we traveled to Mexico.
I became pregnant there but on the way home I miscarried. This baby was about 12 weeks it was very painful physically & emotionally and especially hard on Bob. We think it happened due to so much non stop travel which was extremely stressing on my body .
Back in Winnipeg we knew we really wanted another child but then I got pregnant and miscarried again . I went to a hospital : it was the first and last time I would get medical help for a miscarriage . Three student doctors looked at me as if I were an anatomy lesson instead of a grieving mother.
As one checked me a gush of blood flowed out . " Yuck " he said as if this was the grossest thing he had ever seen . " Fetal tissue " they said, but to Bob and I this was our baby .
I never got another period . I wasn't going to lose this one . I found a doctor through the woman's clinic but I still can't believe they recommended her to me . She wrote out a prescription for valium to be taken for the first 3 months .
Instead of following that advise I went to my mother's dr. who was cool , who also had homebirths with his children. I wanted a dr. for backup in case of emergency so if we had to go to a hospital we'd have someone who knows us to meet us there . Bob and I both wanted a homebirth with a midwife.
For the first 3 months I drank red raspberry and lobelia tea. I believe it made me strong and relaxed .
Darlene the midwife came when I was 14 weeks . I couldn't believe she stayed for two hours . We talked about Bob and I and raising kids. Then she checked my blood pressure and urine . I told her how I'd been craving ice and chewing on it . She told me I might be low in iron . I took a supplement and the craving went away .
At prenatal visits Darlene helped me feel confident showing me where the baby was , how much baby weighed . She was a true friend . I went through my first birth with her and although it took place in the first birthing room in Winnipeg I shared what had bothered me . Noise, distraction and lots of people in the room . The Lamaze method was shit actually . To look at a focal point - forget it ! I needed to close my eyes and get in to my body .
Natasha and I really got in to each other , playing cards late at night , drawing or reading . We rubbed my big belly with coconut oil and then I massaged her to sleep . We looked at birth books a lot and she was excited this baby would be born at home . She asked if it would hurt and I said if it did I'd wiggle my finger so she would know when to be quiet .
One night I had a dream that I was with my pregnant friends . One of them had her baby and Darlene helped her put the baby back inside her warm , safe belly . It was like a demonstration of birthing for us all. Simple and easy .
It was a cold, cold winter with a lot of storms . One night we went to see my mother and after we ate Natasha fell asleep. Mum was playing the piano for gramma Grace who slept on the couch . I suddenly thought " I should wash the sticky floor in the kitchen " So much energy , eh ? On the drive home I had contractions so mild you say " no, it can't be "
The next day contractions came and went .Then the next day yet again I woke with them finally good and strong , and think ohooooo. I showered and rolled around on the futon , then called the midwife , my mother and sister , then the dr. just so he'd know what was going on .
My mum ended up doing the dishes over and over again . Darlene arrived after I'd had about 8 hot showers . Bob and I sat next to the radiator and I loved the warmth on my back . Natasha came in the room and I wiggled my finger , she giggled and ran out of the room .
Darlene nursed her little boy to sleep and I seemed to have heavy endless contractions . I looked at Darlene with lost eyes and said " is it coming ?"
" It's going really smoothly " she said , so gently . I looked at Bob during one of the contractions he looked so big and strong , so love him . I actually felt horny
I tried being on hands and knees, but my head was to low , so I hung on the hammock under my arms , this was perfect . I could hand and push, oooooh .
 Darlene put a warm wet cloth on my bottom. Great. My arms were sore on the hammock, so Bob held me up while I pushed and pushed .
Natasha gave me an apple juice popcicle and I sucked it right up. Darlene was looking at the baby moving down , then WHAM ! My waters broke , splash, all over her. We all laughed, but I was so tired , oh please.....
Then it happened. My mind left the room and took me , my body and my baby to a forest that was hot , moist and misty . I saw it clearly , and I was there naked and sweaty . There were dead leaves and fresh cool earth I dug my toes in to . Big branches of cedar and pine spread out over me with patches of light filtering through . I was birthing in a forest and I began to hoot . The birthing call . Then I heard them, the others, other women also birthing . answering each other  hooting , hooting hooting ....
Darlene was asking me if I wanted to feel the baby's head . I was back in the room , then , felt the burning . ohhhhh, The head is there . My mother is there . Oh , no , she takes Natasha out ! I want to run and get her back , but I'm having the baby ... Natasha is crying " I want to see the baby " the burning , Ohhh .
The head comes. I feel it, then the shoulders , swish . and out she comes . Cry ? Not really strong , but a cry nonetheless .Natasha came in and put her dolly blanket on the baby . Later the placenta came . Natasha wanted to go get her little scissors to cut the cord ! Everyone took turns holding baby Jasmine . Darlene ran a bath for us and Jasmine nursed in it for a long time .
We learned Jasmine had, had her hand on her head which may have been why my labouring was so very long .
Bob and I cuddled down to sleep with Jasmine between us and Natasha beside us on her own little futon bed.
Darlene came over a few times in the next couple days . weighing baby . Jasmine's eye had a bit of infection but that cleared up the next day after I dripped breastmilk on it. Her cord got a little smelly so Darlene said to bath in salt water  , it dried up nice and clean .
We froze the placenta in the freezer and this was the reason for writing the story . This summer we buried the placenta out where my mother was raised . We dug a hole in the yard and lay pine branches down first then the placenta , Natasha's daisies and buttercups , some bluebells and birch bark and a stick of Jasmine incense .
Finally we sprinkled rose petals from gramma Grace's rose bush which hadn't bloomed in years . Gramma Grace had died in spring and it was like the plant came back to life , her soul nursing it back to bloom .
I cuddled Jasmine with the sun shining down on us and told her " I love you Noonie , you're a special little girl "
my flower girl

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